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FRIENDING POLICY: I don't f-lock my posts. I just don't. You're welcome to friend me in order to follow my SPN fiction and get updates. I have a rather unwieldy friends lists so I'll friend you back if you make fandom related posts about stuff I'm interested in. (this isn't me being bitchy, it's me trying really hard to be able to read my flist in a single sitting)

If I don't friend you back it's nothing personal. (and even if I do, sometimes it takes me a while)

PLEASE NOTE: I Do Not Write QAF Fanfiction anymore. I am no longer an active member of that fandom. You're welcome to read my fic, and comment, but there is no reason to friend me as no new posts regarding QAF will be forthcoming.

In General I haven't written anything in a really long time, so... enjoy what's there but nothing's going to be updated anytime soon. (oh, every fic listed is completed, except QAF's Blue Monday)

I'm reviewing Top Chef Season 11 each week for Phoodie Phoodie the Philebrity.com Food Blog
check it out, it's still me so there's like typos and tangents and stuff.

I miss my flist. I know we've all moved on, such is the nature of fandom.

Philebrity.com has a red sauced stepchild called phoodie.info. My brother does a bunch of stuff on there and when I ran across Supermarket Superstar, on Lifetime networks I asked him if he wanted me to review it.

He said yes.

and here is my review, snarky, informative, and as surreal as the show itself. Please to be enjoying and increasing traffic so I look good to my big brother.

Life goes on

Turns out I was epically tired because I stopped sleeping 37 x an hour. So now i sleep like Darth Vadar and am tired because I adopted

This little girl:

her name is Maggie May
She'll be a year old on Oct 1st
She's a terrier/miniature schnauser mix. ie Mutt.
she weighs 15 lbs and is full grown
Crash loves her
Twink's still deciding
Yeah, she has an underbite. wanna make somthing of it?
Maggie's belly



Jack Died on Sunday June 2nd.

He is missed.



Indigo Repost

This fic used to be up at a community that is now defunct
it was written by myself and raeschae

Read more...Collapse )


My external Hard Drive died today and had to be reformatted. But see, when i backed up all my stuff on it in December so I could get a new computer, i never moved the stuff BACK onto my actual computder Hard drive.

Most of what I lost was useless, But now my fic is out there on the internet but i don't have the single file versions I usually make to store in case i need them.

So if a site goes down *cough*bjfic.net*cough* it'll be gone forever.

If you have a Doc file or a PDF file of any of my stuff, QAF or SPN, just email it to me. I'll be forever in your debt.

Thanks in advance.

This is all because i changed my name isn't it? It's some sort of sign or Karma or something, i just know it.

Hi, It's Vamphile

So, Yeah, I changed my name, after fourteen years. It was time.

All my fic is still there, all my bookmarks and tags still work, blah blah blah.

So now you know.

I am now and for the forseeable future

I'm having a mixed episode. That means i'm depressed, but also aggravated, having trouble sleeping and impulsive.

So, Two weeks ago the UPS guy dropped off a couple of packages that I never ordered. One was a bunch of vitamins and the other was a Xbox 360 game. I took the game to gamestop and they told me if i opened it they'd give me twenty bucks for it but they could not take it back unopened. Huh?

I took it to walmart, in the same parking pad and they gave me a store credit for 62.xx bucks. YAY. I also had a Better Homes and gardens brand comforter and two shams. I bought them before I painted my room. The set has never been opened and is a deep burgundy color with embroidered brown flowers. In my new pale green room it'd look like a fucking christmas scene, and we all know how i feel about Christmas.

So i took it back to walmart today along with a sheet set i got but didn't realize was 60% poly.

I received a $72.00 credit for all this stuff.

I was kindly told that no returns from me would be honored without a reciept for a year. I'm okay with that, i'm not a big returned.

the point of this is, after i got my gift card, i scurried my fat ass back to the electronics department and plunked them down on a Nook HD 7" tablet. My out of pocket cost for this was 66. that's not bad, as i've been wanting one for three years.

A lot of the television i watch is now offering "dual screen viewing" and i want to see what that's about, plus, because i have minor cataracts and I have difficulty seeing small print, (forties are when it all starts to go, right?) i can now read books again.

It's charged and now i'm going to set it up. I ordered a case and screen/glare thingy on amazon, so i should have them soon.

I'm kinda excited.


Sad but True

valerie_z Died last week.

This is tragic for so many reasons that I can't even enumerate them.

That's not why I'm posting.

It stands to reason that her site, (where some of my QAF fic) and much better stuff written by her will eventually disappear. (her sister can hold her in her heart, but she doesn't have to also be her webmaster yo)

So, you might what to back up her brilliant works while you can.

I have no idea how to make this post sound appropriate because well, i have no idea how to express how much i cried my own tears and although i've known her forever we weren't what you would call close. I just think the world was a better place with her in it, and i know her literary brilliance was one i was have enjoyed for like, ever, since we wrote a stupid BtVS story together at a party.

Anyway go to http://www.valerielewis.net/bj/ at the top there's links to stories, her vids, her BtVS fanfiction, probably her band slash and whatever else. I'm just sayin'

picked a paint color

it's the second to the last one, the pale green, called aurora borialis.

compared to my very greek/mediterainian saturated blue, i think it will be calming and lovely.

the saga of my bedroom continues.

Painting will be done next weekend.

My Mother

It's August 17th, which means it's time for my annual salute to my dead Mommy.

She was mean, and angry and half the reason I'm so fucked in the head that I think anyone who loves me must be fucked in the head themselves.

And although she died in 1999, She'd have been 72 years old today. And she would have nursed my Father through his hip replacement without being resentful of me (unlike his current wife)

She was smart, and occasionally fun but mostly, she was my Mommy and even on the days when i remember all the reasons I used to yell at her to Fuck off and die! at the top of my lungs. I still miss her because a piece of my life, of my self is missing without her.



The continuing saga of a clean bedroom

So, as i mentioned in this post Cleaning out three years of not ever tidying up my room has been harrowing.

This morning I woke up and realized that the the sliding glass door that leads to my room's slip was showing. As a reult there was a sharp and painful shaft of light directly in my eyes.

I tried to fix it. The whole damn thing came down. I tried to put it back up... Dead curtain rod.

I texted my houseboy and told him it was an emergency. He's gonna call me on his lunch break from work. I'm seriously considering boarding this door up. I never use it and it's fifty feet from my neighbor's driveway...with no fence. AAAArgh.

So I went online to find room darkening curtians that will cover a patio door, Oh and a new curtain rod that will hold that kind of weight.

I found some pretty ones but i don't want to commit to a color or pattren because i'm seriously gonna get my bedroom painted in the fall so...

Beige curtains, rod pocket and the rod wih a cut little silver domed finial at the end... for the low low price of 102.36

That's including shipping, O.co yo. 1.00 shipping at the moment.

so, that's done.

so is the face plate problem. (i've never had one so when you walk in, it's just a bare switch, not even a fifty cent white cover.

It's expensive to have things organized and pretty.

Tomorrow, or maybe later today I'll regale you all with the story of the stolen blender.

My new Switchplate, (my design style is eclectic shabby chic


so here in this post from yesterday I mentioned all that laundry to be done. I went to wal mart today because i pretty much tore through my cleaning supplies yesterday. I needed more trash bags, some pledge, some lemon scented floor cleaner, straight up bleach, color safe bleach etc.

Because of my back, (one of the reasone i got into this mess in the first place) I have to use one of those motorized carts at walmart because the one near me is HUGE. I also needed groceries so i figured i'd pick up some staples as well and then you know, not leave the house again for about a year.

I also needed to pick up a couple of prescriptions and a blender (my dr. said to drink less water and if my mouth was dry, suck on crushed ice)

so i got the blender, my drugs, and a new tooth brush and blah blah blah and as I got to the cleaning and grocery section the cart started beeping.

OH NOES!!!! battery's dying. I got it to the front of the store right before it went kaput. They didn't have any more carts on either side, so the primary purpose of my walmart trrip was now an impossibility for me. GRRRR.

So i went to Kroger where they have carts and food, and i went down their SINGLE aisle of cleaning supplies. The main thing I needed was color safe bleach because every article of clothing had been an area rug for the last two years. Stains, yo.

I had three options. THREE! Oxysomething, clorox2 or the store brand.

I ended up calling my fastidious and wonderful best friend in a panic, sitting there in the middle of the store and asking him what works. (yeah, i don't usually give a shit about laundry, i do it, the clothes aren't that dirty to start with and end up clean and smelling nice when i'm done) but this is industrial level laundry.

turns out, he uses clorox2 for some stuff and oxy for other stuff, but i don't think he understands that they're not made for different stuff, or maybe I don't understand.

Laundry has literally been the hardest part of adulthood since i got my own place. If you asked me if i'd be willing to go through the year my mother died again if it meant my laundry would always be done and folded I'd do it. Seriously, there has been NO TIME since i was sixteen that i didn't have five or six loads pending.

I have so much laundry because I'm so bad at it, so i lose things in the piles, and then just buy new things. I found things today i didn't know i owned and that was in my recently worn shit.

so, yueah, this cleaning thing is going to be an ongoing process.

If you've read this far, wow... you really care about my laundry, that's um... flattering?

But I was in hell for two and a half years, and now it's taken me six months to sort of peep my head out... excuse me if there are still some visible singe marks on my clothes.

Oh, and a bonus question or two.

1. best laundry tip

2. best color safe bleach

3. best spray on stain remover (I love Zout)

Holy Shit I'm s Slob

So after a mean boy told me he had no interest in fucking me again because my house was a pigsty (he spelled pigsty wrong btw) i gave some real consideration to the fact that for the last 18 months if not more my therapist has been telling me to hire someone to clean my bedroom as it was making me miserable.

I went crazy(er) and my chronic back problems got worse at the same time, (about three years ago)

for the first year it was messy, and i'd take the trash out occassionally, but it soon fell into full on disrepair, like that show about earth without people where the whole thing just crumbles, or you know, that show hoarders, where bags of trash and new items snuggle deep under a layer of paper plates and takeout boxes.

So I finally broke down, (or manned up) and asked the kid who does work around my house and mows my lawn (by kid i mean 21, with a daughter and a girlfriend) so yeah, kid. So texted him to as for help because I was too chicken shit to ask out loud.

he respoonded with, "that's what i'm talkin' bout" because he's cleaned my kitchen, loves my dogs, and has seen my room.

Six hours of the both of us working, (him much more than I) and the floor is clear, swept and mopped.

All the cobwebs, (all seven years of them, nope, i have never dusted that room since i bought the house) have been removed.

15 Lawn and leaf bags of trash, mostly from the floor

8 Lawn and Leaf bags of laundry to do. (kinda made me rethink my online shopping cart. Maybe i DON'T need a new pair of... anything)

We're not totally done. I need to change the curtains, they're gross if you know how dusty they are, and the room really would look better painted.

but for now, If a boy decides not to fuck me again, It'll be because I suck in bed and not because you have to walk over a shifting landfill to get to my room. Pictures might come later but probably not.

The room isn't exactly pretty, it just isn't really Gross anymore.
but here are three pics of my dogs.

they're big and i don't feel like re-sizing so they're behind a cut

Jack, Twink and Crash, possibly not in that orderCollapse )


There must be a reasonable alternative

I have recently been reminded exactly how stupid boys are. I'm middleagedish, and the men I seek and talk to are in the same age bracket. And yet they're still acting like high school buffoons with no social graces or skills in the sack. (shouldn't we all get better at this stuff as we get older?)

Full disclosure: I did the lesbian thing for almost a year after I graduated college and found out that girls may be smarter but they're crazier and they don't have those shoulders and arms and hands that make me shiver, so yeah, sorry, can't switch teams, Don't judge me, I was born this way.

What's my point.

Someone give me a reasonable alternative, time killing wise, to being in a relationship. The last month has proved to me, definitively that a relationship is not a viable option for me. I am usually okay with this, and I'm sure I'll be okay with this again soon but right now, I'm a little crushed, and my muse is still frozen under ten feet of solid ice.

So... What do you recommend ?


if anyone cares...

and I have to admit I barely care right now. I have, through some fault of my own, I am falling into a deep and clinical depression.

This will not effect my writing as I haven't been able to write in about a year.

I could give you all the particulars, but the gory details don't change the fact that a good nineteen to twenty hours of sleep and disappointment at waking up are draining the last of my energy.

So, um, yeah. Only posting this because it's two in the morning, I've slept all day, and have nothing better to do, apparantly, than share my misery.


That WIP meme thingy

It's everywhere:

Post a few sentences from every WIP you're currently working on, even if it's very short. Then invite people to ask questions about your WIPs. With any luck, the motivation to take that WIP one step closer to completion will appear as if by magic!

wip's, even with my muse on hellatious I got 'emCollapse )

Hooker!Fic, J2, R(ish)

Title: Hooker!fic
Pairing: J2
Rating: R(ish)
Word Count: 13K +/-
Summary Jared's a Hooker. Jensen works at the local outreach center. They like each other… a lot.

A/N: I wrote this a while ago. I’ve been working on something else since and keep forgetting to post this. So, now I’m remembering to post it. Feedback’s nice, if you’re into that kind of thing



Title: Hooker!fic
Pairing: J2
Rating: R(ish)
Word Count: 13K +/-
Summary Jared's a Hooker. Jensen works at the local outreach center. They like each other… a lot.

A/N: I wrote this a while ago. I’ve been working on something else since and keep forgetting to post this. So, now I’m remembering to post it. Feedback’s nice, if you’re into that kind of thing

Thanks to: passing_through and candygramme and raeschae for the beta work, (yes, it took three people)

hooker!ficCollapse )
For the record...

I was asleep.

Beta Needed, (story and grammar)

So I have two stories I'm working on and I'm not sure where to take them. It's unlike me but then, I'm unlike me lately so...

I need a story beta, someone with time and interest and a phone.

I also need someone to then go over the whole fat mess and make it pass muster in a seventh grade essay contest... something I wasn't able to do in seventh grade, or graduate school.

so um, yeah, volunteers welcome.

Aug. 29th, 2011

I live in Richmond.

We got some wind and rain.

Anyone who makes it out to be more than that needs to actually pay attention to real weather.

Wind and rain. Didn't even wake my dogs.

Please STFU about OMG there's water outside.

Sincerely, a non hysterical member of fandom.

August 17th, On this day in History

today is August 17th, my Mother's birthday.

She's been dead since October 1999, She'd have been 71 toay.
I only got to see her get to 59(she'd have had at least two face lifts by now too)

I barely even miss her anymore but when my dad is on a Caribbean cruise with his new wife and his 12 +/- Grandchildren and my Brother is gearing up for the Philly Folk Fest, and um... yeah, that's all the family I got... Well, today I guess I miss her because it seems like I'm the only one left to do so.

If you get a chance. Hug your mother today.



Master List Update

For those who care, I updated my SPN/CWRPS/J2 Master List so um... yeah, that's all i got today.
Happy reading.

TKO, Visit With The Parents II

TKO Visit With The Parents

Part TwoCollapse )


TKO, Visit With The Parents

Title: TKO Visit With The Parents
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word Count: 12,500 +/-
Summary Jared and Jensen spend a long weekend with Jared's family

A/N: I’m severely nervous about this because I haven’t posted fic in like 18 months so feedback would be appreciated.

TKO Visit With The Parents

Fic this wayCollapse )


That's a lot of SPN yo

Over the last four days I have watched seasons 5 and 6 in their entierty.

I shall now go jump off the highest cliff I can find. Good lord these seasons were brutal.

Think this is reason enough to get a doctor to increase my meds? meh, I'll just increase them myself.

Point? other than my having a LOT of time on my hands, I'm working on a new J2 story and want to rant and rail at the powers that be, and then maybe smish them, and possibly start ranting mid smish. so, yeah, no point.

happy memorial day, (to the Americans)

upcoming apocalypse?

If the world is coming to and end, I sure do wish it would hurry up and do so already. Today would be an ideal precursor to the end of the world. How is it only Monday?

There's a limit to how much bad shit a person can take in a single 8 hour period, you know?



Just an FYI

I backed everything up to dreamwidth. feel free to add me, or friend me or whatever it's called over there.

For right now, my plan is to stay at LJ but yu know, this wouldn't be the first time the Russian government made someone in my family change plans.

dreamwidth code, help plz

anyone got a code i can use? I'd appreciate it.


Got one,
Thank you candygramme

I'm not dead

It was a close call there for a while, or at least it felt like one, but i'm not dead and i'm on my feet (or my knees at least, which is still progress)

I may be writing again soon, I don't know. but mostly the point is I'm still here.

Out on the Edge Part One

March 9th 2015.

Jensen Ackles, star of the Dead Center movie trilogy as well as the family blockbuster, Field Trip, confirmed rumors today of his homosexuality. His publicist issued a press release that stated. “Jensen Ackles has been in a long term relationship with his Supernatural Co-Star Jared Padalecki for quite some time. He has chosen go public with this information at this time in conjunction with filming starting on Mr. Padalecki’s first feature film, and his desire to be able to publicly support his partner and be at his side during the premiere.”

Supernatural, now off the air for almost four years, did air for six and is still in syndication on TNT and syfy networks. It is not clear yet how this announcement will affect Jensen Ackles’s career. He is quoted as saying “I’m willing to work small indie films, or not at all. I’ve been very lucky thus far in my choices and their commercial success, but it’s not as important to me now as the rest of my life, which is in large part, Jared.”

Fans speculate that they may be adopting children, or being blackmailed, but Jared's camp dismisses both options, stating that they would simply like to go to events together and be recognized as a couple.

Jared's new venture, a film based on the novel, Then There Was Nothing, is his directorial debut, and is slated to star Topher Grace and Annie Wersching as the parents of the disenfranchised youth who changes the way people interact in his small town.

Neither camps had any more to say on the length of the couple’s relationship, and only time will tell how it affects the DVD sales of Supernatural which still rate as one of the top ten boxed sets in both American and International sales.

Out On The EdgeCollapse )

I'm not dead

I'm still searching for my muse. My BB goes up on the fifth and i am stil searching for my creativity.

just a useless update.


i'm still uninspired and it's getting physically painful

inspire me, please, i don't care if it's long or short, detailed or simple.

i don't promise to write it but i'm going to write something or or you know, quite possibly, die trying.

what i did on my summer vacation

spent the weekend in the hospital, NEED to write teh epiloge for my big bang or accept that it doesn't need one.

also need a laptop, being stuck at my desk sucks, (i have a weird definition of need, i knoe)

hopitals will make you crazy even if you didn't start out that away.

i have like 20 big bangs to read, that lap top is becoming a bit of a neccssity.

for real.

i missed my flit event though i've been seemingly absent i have been staling so one's the one thing i need to see, read, know that i missed in the past five days?
i have this epic idea for a story(well it's a story anyway) so let me get this medical stuff settled and i'll be right on it.

Update 5/10/10

i ate some cheese and crackers and had a coke.

the anxiety is still there and if it's not gone by the first of June, (when my dr's appt. is, then i'll discuss it with him.

in the meantime, i posted a new fic, and edited some other stuff that i've written for the prompt meme and I am bored out of my motherfucking mind.


Regret, 1/1, J2, Pg-13

Title: Regret
Pairing: J2
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1900+/-
Summary For: Allydenise who said in this Meme:
I'd love to see a fic in which Jensen is travelling the waterways of the US in a barge, alone & getting over a loss in his life. He picks up free spirit artist Jared along the way, and Jared begins to put Jensen's heart together again. :o)

A/N: caution, mentions of child death

Thanks to: anifsemaj
for allydenise who requested Jensen traveling on a bargeCollapse )

sorry for spamming

I still owe fics to about 15 people. (5 are up at my prompt fic post)

I am working on them. I haven't forgotten you all. Promise!
other comment fics can be found Here

More will be added til they've all been filled.

Comment fic: Giandujakiss

J2 juvenile detention or orphanage, protective!Jensen, innocent!Jared.
click for the ficCollapse )


How I've Missed Thee!

My muse is slowly poking her head out of the heaping pile of bullshit that is real life.

here's what I need from my loyal readers, (and you know, random passersby)

J2 (RL or AU) but preferably not in one of my existing verses

I will write a minimum of 300 words that is mostly a complete story for each and every prompt

NO mpreg please unless you want total and complete crack.

I'm begging for your help in unearthing my darling muse(s) (Digging graves is easier for Winchesters than regular folk)

So, To recap
free to everyone! 300 (or more ) words of J2 just for the asking! (and yes I am hoping a bunny takes hold and becomes much more)



The End of the Tunnel, 1/1, R, J2

Title: The End of The Tunnel
Rating: R
Word Count: 4300 +/-
Summary Jared's kinda a stalker, Jensen doesn’t particularly mind

A/N: I have no idea where this came from.

Graphics by: brianslave68

Click here For the StoryCollapse )


100th episode

for the first time in a year i am going to watch the show in real time and not just my downloaded version the following day.

I need a hug

My Thread

Free hugs, what could possibly go wrong.


Total Word Salad

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