Banner by silent_seas
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Justin woke up to the not uncomfortable feel of Brian’s arm across his back. He moaned and rolled over. Brian didn’t seem to move except to curl his hand more firmly around Justin’s waist. Justin closed his eyes and tried to ignore the thoughts swirling in his head that were getting louder by the minute. He slowly opened one eye and watched Brian sleep. He knew, knew that this was not going to end well and yet he kept coming back here, kept having sex with this man.
He wanted to sit up, to get dressed, to leave, but he’d done that, a lot, and that was probably why they were both still circling each other nervously and then pouncing one each other as if neither of them had gotten laid in months. He let the thoughts swirl until they were a cacophony of illogic and common sense so bound together he’d never be able to pull them apart. Then he gave up and closed his eyes. He needed more sleep before he dealt with any of this.
Two hours later he opened his eyes again. The urge to leave was still there. Brian was still asleep. Justin knew he’d been giving in to his urges more than usual. He decided to just work the case with Brian today and see where that got him.
Justin was finishing making coffee, wearing a pair of Brian’s sweatpants that were too long in the leg, and no shirt. He handed Brian a cup as he staggered over to the kitchen counter. He poured a shitload of sugar into the mug and didn’t seem to want to talk.
Justin took the file from the table and moved it, himself and his coffee to the chair in the living room to see if he could make sense of anything. A few minutes later, Brian, still bedheaded but slightly more awake picked up a few of the pages Justin had left on the coffee table. He stared at them and Justin wondered if Brian could even focus yet. Finally Brian spoke.
“We’re missing something.”
“You keep saying that.”
“I keep thinking we’re missing something.”
“Okay, let’s say we are. What are we missing?”
Brian flipped over one of the pages and grabbed a pen. He started to diagram what they knew. Justin watched fascinated and eventually pulled the pen and paper from Brian’s hand. “Here, let me.”
He drew carefully, and Brian raised an eyebrow. Justin shrugged. “I’ve always been good at drawing.”
He started with a quick sketch of The Sap at the top, connecting lines as he added the bartenders. “The Sap is supplying the E to your informants?”
Brian nodded and Justin added them to the growing group. He pulled another sheet of paper and overlapped it with the one he was using. He started at the top with a line sketch of Vinny’s pizza. “I think the rest of the shit is coming from whomever is running the operation at Vinny’s.”
Brian nodded. Justin filled in a few more boxes. “And Morrison works at Vinny’s and for The Sap.”
They looked at what they had. “Fuck.”
“Stay the hell away from Morrison.”
Justin laughed. “I’m trying to catch him. How do I do that while I stay away from him?”
“He’s selling drugs for two major players or he’s selling drugs for one and not cutting the other in.”
“Or he is the major player. We don’t know who’s controlling Vinny’s operations.”
“It might be Morrison.”
“That place has been around too long for it to be Morrison. Kid can’t be older than you.”
“Maybe it’s a family business.”
“You think he took over for someone?”
Justin bit the end of Brian’s pen. “I’m not sure what I think.”
“But you think The Sap and Vinny’s are connected.”
“I think if they’re not, Morrison is playing a dangerous game.”
Brian stood up. “I need a shower, I stink.”
“I’ll join you.”
Justin knew Brian was smiling although he could only see his back as he followed him to the bathroom.
Fucking Morrison. I have to get that kid out of my head. Justin’s body is against mine. His ass is grinding against my cock. I pull away; he turns around and arches an eyebrow at me. I kiss him. His mouth is hot and wet, so is his body, the water sliding between us. I wash his hair and my own, I want to fuck him, but not here. In the bed, spread out underneath me. I want a long slow….
Fuck it. I turn him around and his fingers splay against the glass. His legs spread. I reach for a condom and I’m inside him. He’s tightening around me, moaning my name and I kiss his shoulder. I wrap my hand around his cock and jerk him off quickly. I’m not sure how long I can hold off. He’s so tight. We both come. My arm moves around his waist and his body leans back against me. I maneuver us back directly under the stream of water and as we rinse off I realize I still want to fuck him on the bed, his body spread beneath mine.
We’re out of the shower. He’s drying himself off. I’m not the jealous type but I’m feeling envious of that towel as he runs it over his body. He shakes his head at me and splatters me with water. I laugh… I shouldn’t. That’s not funny. He’s kissing me again. His hands running down my back and as I walk backwards he walks with me. When I’m laying on the bed his body is stretched over mine and I realize that once again, he’s exactly where I want to be. What the fuck? I wrap my arms around him and roll us both over. I wait a moment. He’s hard to read sometimes. This could go either way. He doesn’t bitch, he doesn’t try to roll us back. He moves further onto the bed and now my face is against his belly. I kiss him there, and feel his stomach muscles flutter. I smile and move lower, kissing his cock. He grunts and then sighs. I look up and he’s got a soft smile on his face. I like that. I lick him again and push gently on his thighs. He spreads them, and I’m kissing lightly against the smooth pale skin.
He moves his hips, trying to get his cock closer to my mouth. I ignore his efforts, my hands sliding under his ass, my mouth tasting every clean soft warm inch of him. I move up a little, kissing his hipbone. I lick at the small almost invisible line of a scar. I keep meaning to ask him about that. I look up at him again, my tongue tracing ragged line. He looks down and sees where my tongue is. Fuck, his expression changes and he’s sitting up now. I move higher but he’s pulling away. Something inside me feels cold, and tight and I’m kneeling between his knees and trying to kiss his mouth but he turns his head. I sigh and sit next to him. Apparently no one’s getting laid right now.
“You have to cut that shit out.”
I wonder if I should pretend I don’t know what he’s talking about, and then realize I don’t know what he’s talking about.
“What are you talking about?”
“You. You find every imperfection and focus on it.”
I’m lost. “Huh?” I know, brilliant.
“You don’t have to kiss it better. I’m used to it.”
“I was just…”
I have no fucking clue. I shrug and light a cigarette.
“I’m interested, Brian. What was it you thought you were doing?”
“I was going to blow you, then fuck you. I’m not sure what you thought I was doing but I thought I was being pretty clear.”
“So you have a scar? Who doesn’t?”
“How’d you get it?” He pulls further away.
“You know how.”
I really don’t. “I really don’t.”
“I got it in Pitcairn.”
Images flash. The pictures in his personnel file. A cut, about that size. I didn’t realize it was on his hip, the camera was too close to get context. I feel sick. His expression changes, he looks… fuck, he looks scared and he’s moving further away. From me, or the memory?
“What happened in Pitcairn?”
He runs his hand through his hair. “Don’t pretend you don’t know.”
“I know you got banged up. I know you filed charges of assault. I don’t know what happened.”
“I didn’t file any charges.”
“I know, charges were filed. I didn’t file them.”
“Who?” I’m lost.
He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. A little harmless hazing and suddenly everything was out of control.”
I want to yell but I’m not sure at whom. “Harmless hazing?”
“New guy in the station…”
“So they beat the shit out of you?”
Something like that. He moves to get up and I touch his shoulder. I want to wrap my fingers around his arm, I think that might be the worst thing I can do right now. “Tell me.”
“I’ve told this story a hundred times.”
“Let’s make it a hundred and one.”
“You don’t want to know.”
“I asked didn’t I?”
He’s shaking. I reach out to touch him and he pulls away. I don’t. I’m still touching him and his body is tense and rigid, and I try to move closer to him. I do it slowly and he lets me. My arms are around him. He moves so he’s sitting between my legs, leaning back against me. I can’t see his face. I want to, but maybe this is easier for him if I can’t.
“They found out I was gay.”
He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. They did. I wasn’t exactly in the closet. Not out either though.”
“But they found out.”
He nods against my chest. “Fucking assholes.”
“Didn’t take kindly to the idea?”
“I guess not. Dealt with the standards. Faggot jokes. Single entendres. Ugly assholes thinking I care if I see them in the shower.”
I nod. I remember. His hands are balled into fists and resting on his thighs. I run my hand down his arm and cover his hand with my own. I push my fingers between his. He lets me. His hand laying on my leg now, my fingers alternating with his. “They hurt you.”
It’s almost a whisper and I feel him nod. “They got together, a bunch of them, tied me up. Duct tape on my mouth. I’m not sure what their plan was. I think they were just trying to scare me. It worked. Kyle, another guy on the force, he walked in and stopped it. That’s when we started seeing each other. He pressed charges, I didn’t.”
“And the guys involved?”
“Slap on the wrist, took a diversity training and acceptance course. Most of them still work there.”
“We were together for about six months. Lived together for three of them. He was the label whore.”
I nod. I’d figured.
“Then we broke up and I moved to Pittsburgh.”
“You still talk to him?”
“No, when it’s over, it’s over. Staying friends? When has that ever worked?”
“That’s why they assigned you here. With me, and Horvath.”
“Probably. They told me that Horvath was infamous for being okay with alternative lifestyles.” The tone in his voice makes it clear what he thinks of the phrase.
“Can’t be married to Debbie and not be.”
“One of a kind.”
“Yeah I guess. Plus you.”
I laugh. “Yes.”
“And you don’t, apparently, have issues with the other detectives.”
“I have issues but not because of who I fuck.”
“Well, they’re all idiots.”
“Yes, that’s the issue I have. But…”
“Yeah, I know, you’re not a role model. Hell you’d be a crappy role model.”
“Good thing you don’t need one.”
“I think the Pittsburgh PD was trying to avoid getting sued like Pitcairn did.”
“You sued Pitcairn PD?”
“No, but Kyle did.”
“How the fuck did Kyle manage that?”
“Hostile work environment. Fear for his own safety due to homophobic hate crimes.”
“Yeah, he got a chunk of change.”
“And didn’t give you a dime?”
“I didn’t want a dime. For what? I got hazed and he made me the most hated cop on the force.”
“Why didn’t they hate him?”
“Because people are idiots.”
“Talked to someone, about this?”
“I had to see a shrink for evaluation, but she cleared me after three sessions.”
“And you’re so obviously over it.”
“For the most part.”
“Unless I touch you wrong.”
“It’s not just you. It’s anyone.”
“Well that makes it better.”
He twists in my arms 'til he’s on his knees facing me. His mouth is on mine and then he’s breathing into my ear. “Now, where were we?”
Something about this feels wrong. I’m aware he’s trying to prove just how okay he is. He’s also naked and his knee is moving gently against my cock, and I push him backwards until I’m covering his body, but I hold myself up on my arms. I don’t want him to feel trapped. “I think I was about to suck your cock.”
He rolls over under me. “Just fuck me.”
He pushes up on his knees, spreads them, and angles towards my cock. Find me a gay man who can resist the soft feel of his skin against his thighs, the heat of his ass against his hard cock and I’ll find you a man who’s not gay.
I put the condom on quickly and as I slide into him I feel him tense against me. I move even more slowly and curse his sense of independence. I want to see his face. I’m not sure he’s fine. I also have a feeling if I stopped now he’d never forgive me. I don’t want to stop, now, or ever. I fuck him, gently, until he starts demanding it harder and faster and my arm drapes over his shoulder. I’m pulling on his nipple ring. He’s stroking his own cock and meeting me thrust for thrust as I pound into him.
We’re both sweaty when we come. He collapses under me and I fall on top of him. I roll off and can’t help running my fingers through his hair while he turns to look at me, neither of us having caught our breath yet.
“That was amazing.”
I smile and tuck his hair behind his ear. “It was alright.”
He rolls on top of me and tickles me until I admit it was pretty fucking great. And then he’s lying on top of me fully, and we kiss again. I feel how narrow his waist is. I picture them tying him up. The panic in his eyes. Duct tape on his mouth so he can’t even scream. I wonder if they were trying to scare him, or worse. I’m not going to ask him now. I consider tracking down Kyle but then the image of Justin finding out about that stops the thought immediately. If I want to know I’m going to have to ask him.
Not now. Not today.
Eventually he pulls away from me. I’m hard again, so is he. He moves until his knees are on the pillow, his cock angled temptingly towards my lips. He lowers himself towards me and takes me into his own mouth at the same time and I’m sucking him off while he’s doing something indescribably perfect to my cock. His hands are stroking my thighs while his hips are pumping into me. When he comes I swallow around him and he sucks hard on my shaft, humming. I come too.
He takes a moment to lick me and then pulls off. “I have to meet Morrison.”
He rolls his eyes and changes into a pair of jeans that accentuate his, quite honestly, perfect ass. He’s wearing that orange t-shirt again. I’m still lying in bed. I know I need to get up, go into the station, but he’s almost worn me out. He leans over to kiss me before he leaves. “Don’t fall back asleep. You need to go in and run a check on Morrison.” I know this and I’m about to tell him that when he wiggles his ass at me and leaves.
I smoke two cigarettes before I shower again and head towards the station.
Brian was doing a general background check on Morrison. His full given name was Jeffery Morrison Manicini. His uncle was Vincent Morrison Manicini, the owner of Vinny’s. Well, the CEO of Vincent’s food Purveyance, Inc. So Morrison was working for Vinny’s. For Vinny. What the fuck was he doing dancing for The Sap? Brian jotted the question down on his growing list of questions that were not being satisfactorily answered by his current inquiry. The kid had no priors and was not, as far as Brian could tell, under investigation. Well, he was now, but not officially. Brian didn’t trust anyone at the moment. Putting Morrison's name on any official documentation was a bad idea.
He jotted a few more notes, printed out a few more reports and then researched what Justin had told him about Pitcairn. The information was sketchy at best. These were the types of reports and settlements that were completed with a minimum of paperwork and a maximum of confidentiality clauses. He was on his way out when he ran into Horvath.
Carl walked into his office, motioning whith his coffee cup for Brian to follow. Brian did and Horvath shut the door behind him.
“So The Sap wasn’t the guy.”
Brian nodded again.
“And Taylor’s still working at Babylon.”
“The sky’s blue. Cars go fast. Anything else captain obvious?”
“Don’t fuck with me Kinney. The kid’s not getting jack shit accomplished in there. Get him out.”
“You’re his superior officer. You get him out.”
Carl sighed. “Debbie's upset.”
“You know I am. And they’re still breathing down my neck.”
“We’ve got a lead.”
“I can’t say.”
“It’s too risky.”
“For Justin. He’s working on it though.”
“I’m trusting you. You want me to tell Debbie to trust you? Three of the new deaths were ‘her boys’.”
“We’re closing in.”
“And The Sap should give us everything we need by next week.”
“Good, by then, hopefully, I’ll have Justin out of there.”
“If he cracks this, he won’t have to walk a beat.”
“He’ll crack it.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Carl, give us the benefit of the doubt.”
Carl nodded and turned his attention to a stack of paperwork on his desk. “Oh and Brian.” Brian’s hand was on the door. He turned to face Horvath. “Careful with Morrison, I think he’s got an in with the department.” Brian nodded. “And if you go into personnel files again like that, I’ll have your ass.” Brian smiled. “You don’t want my ass.”
“Lucky for you.”
Brian smirked and left.
I hate this job…no, this detail. This is not my job. I’m dancing, and the natives are getting restless. Thursday nights always suck. Not Friday, so they’re holding back, but gearing up. Someone’s whispering in my ear, telling me what he wants. Yeah, crystal and weed, I can get him that. I take his money and touch his shoulder. Then I run my hand down his chest and stop at his waistband. It looks like harmless flirtation. Morrison gets the signal. A couple minutes later the guy’s dancing with one of Morrison's boys, the trade is made and the deal is sealed. Another guy is whispering what he wants, and it’s not drugs. I shake my head but don’t stop smiling. He thinks I’m kidding. I want to stop smiling but Gary's yelled at me twice about that. Says he’s seen more seductive looks from loan sharks looking to break his kneecaps. So I smile.
Brian’s here. He just got here and he’s dancing with someone. He moves towards me and I want to shake him off but I can’t. Gary's watching. I can’t even stop smiling. He whispers in my ear. “We’ve got to get you out of here, soon.”
I really want to pull him closer, or push him away and I can’t do either. Fuck. I let him slide the twenty under my waistband and breathe into his ear. “No fucking way.”
He moves away but not before whispering “later” to me. Whatever. I really should go to my own place tonight. He knows too much about me. I can’t believe I told him about Pitcairn. The images flash and I close my eyes and dance. There’s a hand on my ass and I pull away but it’s just another customer. I grind my crotch into his face and he tells me what he wants. I touch him just right and Morison’s boy delivers. This is getting old fast.
On my break Gary pulls me into his office to tell me what a great job I’m doing. He wants to move me closer to the action. I still don’t want to dance on the bar, too close, and too many bartenders to observe my interactions. I can’t say no without Gary getting suspicious. I nod. He moves closer. He wants to blow me. I’m too tired to care, what’s one more guy touching me tonight? I close my eyes and let him and when he’s done I move to the bar. Morrison shoots me a look and I shrug. We’re getting nowhere with Gary, I’m really hoping I didn’t just lose my gig with Morrison.
Brian watched Justin dance. When Justin took a break Brian took a trip to the back room. He was leaning against the wall, his hands on the sides of a man’s face as he fucked his mouth. He came and moved out of the back room. he saw Justin, back from his break and dancing on the bar. He decided that Justin had apparently put in his time, (two weeks), and resolutely decided that after everything Justin had told him today, he would not even consider the possibility that he’d let The Sap blow him. Justin looked tired. Brian felt tired. He moved to the bar and ordered a shot of tequila. He downed it quickly and moved to tuck the change into Justin’s waistband. Justin moved towards him, crawling and took the money out of his hand with his teeth. Brian felt his cock twitch, and then was overcome by nausea. This kid should not be doing that. Not today, not ever. He was a cop. Brian mumbled “by four” and saw Justin fight his own desire to refuse. He turned away to move towards another customer, his thumb tucked under his hand, four fingers on the bar. Brian went home.
Justin was wound up. Morrison had given him shit outside the club once they’d both changed. He’d told Morrison to fuck off. He was wired, and he wanted to fuck someone, and then go to sleep. He was really tired of the large number of controlling men in his life.
He shouldered past Morrison to come face to face with annoying man. “Oh Jesus fuck, what do you want?’
The guy looked taken aback. “I was wondering…”
“Look, I just wanted to…”
“Fuck the fuck off. I can’t be more clear.” Justin pushed past him. He walked in long aggravated strides until he was behind Brian’s building. He walked up the steps and pulled open the door. Brian was standing at the kitchen counter with two beers.
Justin took the beer and drained it quickly. He turned in a circle once, his face never losing its expression of aggravation. “Fine, see? Gotta go.”
Justin turned to face him. “Yeah?”
“Where are you going?”
“To get laid.”
Brian raised an eyebrow. “That’s something you can’t do right here?”
“I’ve had a for shit day. I’m in the mood to fuck someone and you’re not the type to roll over. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Justin was surprised by Brian’s response.
“What makes you think I won’t roll over?”
Justin turned. “History. Experience. I’m not functionally retarded.”
Brian seemed to be smirking. “You’re that sure?”
“From everything I’ve heard.”
“And everything you’ll ever hear.”
“So you don’t…”
Justin was stalking him now, challenging him. “But you will.”
Brian drained his beer. “Yeah.”
Brian shook his head. “Because geographically, it’s more convenient when you’re naked in my bed.”
“Doesn’t work for this one.”
“But it’ll still be true in the morning.”
“Not really in the mood to play head games.”
“Who says I’m playing.”
Justin was unbuttoning Brian’s shirt, not actually believing the man but once he’d gotten to Brian’s waistband he knew that Brian would have to, at this point, actually admit he didn’t want to do this for it to stop, and Brian would never admit that. The thought made him harder, made him feel powerful and also, oddly protective of the man standing in front of him, attempting to seem impervious. He wouldn’t say no at this point, even if he wanted to. Justin’s movements slowed down. He pulled off his own shirt and jeans and laid back on the bed. Brian was watching him.
He crooked a finger and Brian moved closer. He pulled Brian on top of him and let out an oof as Brian’s body knocked the air out of his. They both laughed.
Justin touched Brian’s face. “You’re laughing.”
Brian seemed to think about that and laughed again. “I guess I am.”
Justin smiled and Brian leaned down to kiss him.
I’m watching him take of his clothes and realize I’ve lost control of my own mouth, and mind. I just gave him the go ahead to fuck me. Why? Because he looked harried, and hot, and the option was him, naked and in my ass or him not here at all, and that can’t be a good enough reason.
He’s tugging on my arm a little and I fall on top of him. He laughs. I laugh. We’re laughing, in bed, together. I’m a little confused. He came in aggravated and demanding and sure of what he wanted and now he’s being tender and hesitant. What the fuck is up with that?
I lean in to kiss him, hard. I don’t want hesitant, the only reason I’d even consider letting him fuck me is that he’s pretty good at being in control. I may never admit that too him out loud, trust me, kid’s got ego enough for three twinks, he has proven that for the most part, yeah, he can walk it and talk it.
He seems to hear what I’m not saying because he’s kissing me back, meeting my intensity. Have I talked about what he tastes like? This might be a good time because he’s a delicacy. When you look at him, you think bubblegum and honey and oranges or whatever stupid romantic twinkie little flavors pop into mind, but he tastes… like salt, and sweat, and man, and denim. His tongue is rough like cheap rum, wet like cold beer and hot like the first gulp of a good latte. His lips are full and soft and every time I kiss him I get hard because the thought of those lips around my cock, the image of them sliding up and down my shaft while his blonde hair tickles my thighs, that’s burned into my brain. His lips touch mine and I want to push him to his knees, or move down his body and suck his cock, which is perfect and hard and currently pushing against my thigh.
He pushes me back and looks into my eyes. Fuck, do I have to make it clear to him that this is still just fucking? He pulls a condom out of the drawer and the lube. He hands me the condom. “Put it on me.”
I stroke his sheathed cock lightly with a palm full of lube and he smiles at me. “Ride me.”
I look at him like he might be insane. I’m twice his height, there’s… I’m about to say something and the look on his face changes to concern. concern…over me what was it he said once… “I love it when you fuck me like I’m not some little china doll.” Yeah…fuck him. He thinks I’m so fucking delicate. I move, straddling his waist but he pulls me forward. “Not yet.” His fingers are slick and then they’re inside me and he’s right…not yet. He’s fucking me with his fingers. I open up for him, my eyes closed, lowering myself down onto his hand and him pushing one then two fingers inside me. I moan and bite my lip and he laughs again. I look down to yell at him but he’s not laughing at me… he’s just enjoying himself and really, how can I hold that against him?
I lean forward, one hand flat on the pillow on either side of his head. I dip my head and kiss him and he kisses me back, his fingers stroking my prostate, curling inside me. Then one of his hands is on my chest, pushing me backwards. His feet are planted on the mattress and I put one hand on his knee to steady myself. I hold his cock upright and press it against my hole. I don’t move yet; don’t let him in; just let him feel himself there.
He whimpers and I smile and lower myself the slightest bit. I grit my teeth as the wide head of his cock opens me up and I stay there, letting him stretch me. I feel it, and I let him feel it, want more. We both do. I move and he moans. I lower myself slowly, inch by inch until his hands are on my thighs, and I’m grinding my ass against his groin. I angle just right, feeling the electricity shoot through my body. I squeeze against him and realize I’m going to ache tomorrow and I don’t fucking care. His hands are squeezing my thighs now; he wants me to move, to ride him. He’s about to ask. I don’t give him the chance.
I raise myself up until I’m almost off of him completely and then slam down again. He grunts and I lean forward, pulling at his nipple ring while I move in a languid rhythm over his cock. He’s thrusting into me and I’m grinding back on him. He bites his lip and I shake my head. That’s my job. I lean forward, my chest pressed against his. His cock filling me and I push my tongue into his mouth. I pull back and nibble on his bottom lip. When I pull away completely his lips are bright red and his body is slick with sweat. He’s begging me to go faster and I reach back, using his knees for leverage as I speed things up. We’re both lost to all of it, the feel, the taste the scent. I feel him come, and see it. His body tenses. His stomach muscles ripple between my thighs, his face contorts and then softens in a look of abject bliss and my hand is on my cock. His joins mine and he’s stroking me, breathing ragged, heart racing. I come all over his chest and hand as well as my own.
He wraps his fingers around my wrist and sucks the come from my fingers, and his own. I swear I’m hard again, even while he’s softening inside me. His tongue swirling around both our fingers inside his mouth, wet and hot. His soft lips sucking on my finger like it’s my cock. He smiles up at me through his lashes and I realize that this kid may be fatal, and then realize that I can’t think of a better way to go. I collapse on top of him, and as I straighten my legs he falls out of me. I roll us over until he’s on top of me, and he moves down to lick the come off of my belly. I run my fingers through his hair and sigh.
We still have a lot to figure out, but none of it matters right now. He crawls back up my body and we’re both sticky and should be sated, but we’re not. It’s a long time before we fall asleep, about a hundred kisses, two blowjobs and a rim job, but only approximately, it’s not like I was counting.